Do you ever wake up in the morning and wonder how you are going to get through the day? Do you ever feel like no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, it’s just not good enough? Do you spend a lot of time and energy trying to get it right and trying to earn the praise and respect of others; all the while having the sense that underneath it all, you just don’t measure up? In the words of Henry Thoreau, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” All too often, that proves to be true.
What if it doesn’t have to be this way? Here are my top 3 tools for overcoming feeling unworthy.
1. Change your focus
If you wish to overcome feelings of unworthiness, you have to stop focusing on everything you have decided is wrong about you. You have to change your focus and look from another perspective. A great way to do that is to ask the question, “What’s right about me that I am not getting?” You can also ask, “If I wasn’t wrong, if I wasn’t bad, what would I be?” These questions interrupt the negative mind chatter and invite you to see what is amazing and brilliant about you.
2. It’s All Just Choice
People tend to get stuck in the idea of being unworthy when they look at the choices they have made in their lives. They buy into the idea that there are good choices and bad choices, and judge themselves for the choices they have decided are bad. Choice is just choice. Every choice you make creates something. Every choice you make allows you to be more aware. If you would stop looking at your choices from the place of judging them, you can simple see what each choice creates and make the choices that create what you actually desire. If you find that you judge you and your choices, try this. Imagine you have 10 seconds to live the rest of your life. What do you choose? That lifetime is over. You have 10 seconds to live the rest of your life. What do you choose? If you will practice this, you will find that choosing becomes easier and judging goes away. If a choice is only good for 10 seconds, how can it be good or bad? It can’t. It’s just choice.
3. Let Go of the Lie of Perfection
One of the lies that keeps a sense of unworthiness going is the idea that we should be right, do right and always get it right. In a word, it’s the lie of perfection. Seeking perfection keeps us in the self-perpetuating cycle of never enough; never right enough, never good enough, never successful enough. No matter how good you are, it’s never enough. Instead of striving for perfection, let’s strive for greatness. In greatness, you allow yourself to be greater than you were yesterday; and you don’t judge you for not being enough. In greatness, you recognize that the “mistakes” you make actually contribute to you being greater today than you were yesterday. In greatness, you see that every choice you have ever made has created the person that you are today. Perfection is the judgment of you. Greatness is the gift of you that includes all of you and judges none of you. Choose greatness.
No matter who you are, no matter where you have been, no matter what choices you have made, you are not as screwed up as you have thought you are. When you walk around feeling unworthy, you are believing a lie, and, you are not being you. Start to ask, “What’s right about me?”. Choose joy. It really is just a choice. Let go of the lie of perfection that keeps you striving for something that is not actually attainable. You are the gift and the contribution that the world requires, so be you and everything will change.
P.S.S. In addition, please check out this page about the Access Bars Access Consciousness Bars. This created so much change in this area of “unworthiness” in my life, and perhaps it can for you too?