An Unexpected Way To Leave Loneliness Behind

There was a time when I felt like the loneliest person in the world during the holidays, and truly the rest of the year. And not because I did not have family or friends; it went deeper than that. I felt weird and different from everyone around me – and for me, that translated into being utterly alone.

Everyone else around me seemed to be on the same wavelength – the one with jingle bells, sparkly angels, and mistletoe. I hadn’t even gotten to the bah-humbug stage – I felt like I was on another planet, and nothing I tried seemed to change that.

Then I stumbled upon a modality that has a totally different take on the idea of loneliness. I started to realize that maybe, just maybe, that sense of being alone was not mine in the first place… And I didn’t have to hold on to it.

One tool that really helped me was this…


Tool #1 –  Ask this question: “Is that loneliness yours?”

This may sound like a strange question; I get it.

But when you feel lonely, you also assume that you are lonely. What if this is the lie that keeps you stuck in loneliness?

How much of the loneliness that you are feeling is simply an awareness of the other people in the world that are functioning from loneliness?

Have you ever had the experience of picking up on an energy before you had the information of what was occurring? Like going out for dinner with someone, having a great time and yet afterwards you feel anxious. Later in a conversation, you discover that your friend was under a lot of stress even though they did not tell you. The anxiety you felt was simply your awareness of their anxiety.

What if I told you that 98% of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions don’t belong to you? That is how aware you are! You pick them up from everyone and everything around you.

We even gravitate toward the energies we know. Have you ever bought a car and then immediately started noticing that particular car everywhere you went? It is the same with energy. If you have a tiny kernel of loneliness, you start gravitating toward that same energy all around you. You don’t just pick up on loneliness from the people you know; you pick up on it wherever it is. You become a tuning fork to that particular vibration or energy.


Tool #2 –  Try this: Returning This Energy To the Sender

Next time you notice that feeling of loneliness, ask yourself “Who does this belong to? Is it mine?” If it lightens up when you ask, it is not yours.

Simply say, “Return to sender with consciousness attached.” You don’t have to know who the sender is. It doesn’t matter. You can’t change it for them, and you can’t change it for you because it is not yours.

By returning this energy to sender, they have a chance to choose something different. And by not taking on the 98% of thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are not yours, you can finally start dealing with the 2% you can change. You can then see what is true for you, and let go of what is not.

What if you could start with these tools and see what happens? What would be possible then?

Grateful for you,


P.S. And for the full article in Body + Soul online publication, please visit here!  I have plenty more tips and tools in this article that can contribute!

P.S.S. And for even more exploring and tools for change…

Six videos about the tools I use every single day: