Hi friend! When you hear the word ‘generosity,’ what do you think of?

I’d like to explore this a little with you, as generosity has been a topic that’s been in my awareness quite a lot lately.

Most of us tend to think of generosity as something we do – such as, an action or a choice to give something to someone else. (And then we wonder why it can feel so forced, or exhausting, or something we have to talk ourselves into!)

Well, what if we’ve got it backwards?

It’s Not Something You Do, It’s What You Are

What if generosity, at its core, isn’t an action?

What if it’s a state of being that becomes available when you’re fully open to life, to other people, and yourself – instead of the performing, calculating what to give and what to hold back we so often see and experience.

You’ve probably felt those moments where everything felt easy and connected, where you weren’t defending anything or managing anything, where things just flowed. That’s closer to the kind of generosity we’re talking about here.

In fact, what if not being generous is actually the hard part? Could it be the contraction, separation, defensiveness, all the stuff we default to, that seems to take so much work?

I would go so far as to suggest that generosity, real generosity, is what’s left when you stop doing all of that.

What Gets In The Way

So if generosity is our natural state, why does it sometimes feel hard to access?

Judgment is a big reason, of others and of ourselves. When we’re busy deciding what’s right and wrong, good and bad, worthy and unworthy, we’re not open. We’re stuck in our calculating minds, which has a habit of closing things down.

The need to control is another. The more we manage how things look, how people see us, how outcomes unfold, the less room there is to simply be present.

All of this makes sense given what we’ve been taught. Every time we contract, we cut off a little of our access to something that was already there.

You Don’t Have To Earn This

My friend, you don’t have to become a better person to access this. You don’t have to earn it or fix yourself first.

You could just very gently begin to notice when you’re contracted and ask what it would take to soften a little.

Not by forcing it – just being willing to be a bit less defended than you were a moment ago.

That’s enough, and you may notice that it already changes quite a lot.

Where in your life are you already being this kind of generosity without realising it? And where might you be making it harder than it needs to be?

Dain

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