My Journey to Being Me

My Journey to Being Me

Author   Category Being You

Guest Blog Post by Dylan Duncan

It has been over two and a half years since I attended the Being You Changing The World 3.5 day class, my first ever Access Consciousness class. Wow, how grateful I am that there is something as nurturing as this class was that is available to us all in this beautiful world we live in. But before I get into that, let me backtrack….

I was born in South Africa around the time apartheid ended, and lived the first 18 years of my life there. Living on a spacious 77 acre farm that my Gran owned which had 5 dams, a 2km long driveway, 100+ cattle, pigs, ducks, chickens and over 20 dogs. The animals and the land were my place of strength.

I started writing this and noticed myself beating around the bush, so I’ll lower my barriers and here we go.

As early as I can remember, I was molested, sexually abused, physically abused, involved in family incest and so on. The farmland escape only lasted so long. Before I knew it, I was finding any and every possible avenue to escape. Drugs, alcohol, pornography, sporting supplements, prescription pills, alcohol, more drugs and so on. I look back now and can see that at that time I had to escape and at that time I was a big believer in escaping from me. The intense daily judgment of how wrong I was and how I was the source for all the insanity around me, inside my head, in my world and life was something I had to escape by whatever means possible. I was not aware of it at the time, but the self-abuse was the one thing that I was great at – really, really great at. I continually strived to get even better at it. I deserved to be hurt. I deserved to have this life. I deserved everything bad, without ever questioning why it was that I didn’t deserve anything good that life had to offer… It is very possible that I had no way of seeing what good life could offer.

My father was an abusive alcoholic and living in a house with literally just corrugated iron as the roof and no ceilings, if you listened quietly enough you could hear anything anyone was saying or doing in the entire house… on the other hand there were also many times when that would be irrelevant and I’m sure one could hear the abuse from a different planet. To me at that time, I believed that this was just normal. If it wasn’t, it had to be my fault in some way and I was the source of all the wrongness I saw around me.

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The workers on the farm were treated as if they were animals because of the colour of their skin. “How this is right,” was something I couldn’t fathom.

My father screaming every swear word under the sun at the news on the TV at 7:30 every night because the “monkeys are taking over” was definitely the best way to eat dinner every night. Seeing him throwing shit around, slamming doors and all the rest. I used to wonder if he ever would see the way he was acting and the resemblance to a monkey… yes, life can be really weird, my friend.

Drugs gave me a sense of peace, a moment of worth, a taste of what life could be, a glimpse of how the world could be, a world that I knew was possible. Even if I was the only one living in that world. The really funny thing is that I can now look back and see that I wasn’t ever willing to live in my own world, that was the lie I was buying and the false pretense that the drugs gave me. I thought it gave me a place where I could be me, maybe it did, maybe it didn’t, all I knew then was that unless I overdosed on drugs and ventured off to a different planet or something I was unable to live in ‘my world’. Ever. Unless I was high..

I moved to Australia after I finished high school, to a town in the bush in the middle of nowhere in the Northern Territory. Things have to be different here, I thought.

Oh no, my father is still an abusive alcoholic. Racism still exists, even here. F*$k it, I will work and work and work until one day I can leave. Funny thing is, I worked 3 jobs and never listened to my body, so it started shouting at me. The day finally came that I left and for one of the first times in my life I felt as if I was free. I was determined to create something different. So for the first time since I can remember I started to do things for “me”, I started reading, waking up early to hike and go to watch the sunrise. I started meditating (at least trying to). I started to explore what was true for me. I started being present with myself.

Which lasted momentarily. I was then diagnosed with an auto-immune disease, something the doctors cannot fix and something I would then have to live with for the rest of my life and take drugs to deal with the pain. Man, just when I was starting fresh.

A couple days after I had been diagnosed, in my room alone at night, I completely broke down, got vulnerable with myself like never before and spat tears out of my eyes like a baby, demanding that ‘God’ or anyone or anything out there change something for me, show me something, give me a sign or something…

The magic begins.

I had been in contact with a friend of my mother’s from South Africa who was a psychic and a card reader, and everything that used to weird me out when I was younger.. because then I knew how bad and wrong I was and no way was I going to let anyone know the secrets I had in my head. That changed. I poured my life story into the keyboard of my computer one night in an email to her. We chatted for a couple days back and forth. She asked me, ”hey, have you heard of Access Consciousness? Be bold and email Dain just as you have emailed me”.

So, I went on the site, watched a video of Dain (at that time I don’t think I heard a word he said but received something) but for the love of God I could not find Dain’s email address anywhere. Bleh, over it.

Next day I hear in my head “look at the site”!

So I checked it out again. “Look at the classes” I hear. So I looked at Dain’s upcoming classes. There was one starting tomorrow in Queensland, Australia. It was a short flight from Cairns to Brisbane and a quick shuttle to the Sunshine Coast. Okay. Screw emailing Dain and pouring out my life story to him, when I can attend a class of his the next day and meet him in person. I called my travel agent and next thing I was on a plane.

I honestly had no idea what to expect.

I entered the room that night and saw so many faces, but something was different. I had paid, got a ‘goodie bag’ and sat down in a seat in the front row. People were hugging one another, laughing, listening and smiling. Hmmm.. This is different.

Dain asked us all to close our eyes and lower all of our barriers. I did this, and so did every one else in the room. My body vibrated like nothing I have experienced before. I could feel each and every molecule moving, tears streaming down my face like a river. There was this kindness, gentleness, sweetness and this space that was just there, like it was saying ‘hello’.

It was one of the first times that I was able to see that I wasn’t mean, bad and wrong, I was the exact opposite.

Throughout the class he spoke, providing tools and saying the weirdest things my ears have ever been fortunate enough to hear. It was as if everything that came out of his mouth was what I always knew to be true, yet I’d never been able to say it or even put words to it. Over the next 3 days, I would be a part of something that has changed my life forever. People asked questions that I had never had the courage to ask myself, yet always wanted to ask… I just never knew how. It was such a gift to be in a room surrounded by people who were willing to be vulnerable, to ask questions that have never been asked before and not explode into ashes.

This allowed me to ask myself questions that I was never able to ask before. I could tell how one question didn’t only apply to the person asking the question; there were parts and pieces to that question that everybody had in their world. Each and every question that was asked and all the information that was then provided allowed for what I call magic to be created.

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A world that I had always been seeking, always knew must exist, always knew I would find one day did actually exist… and it was right here in the room at the Mantra in Moolooaba in May 2014. People weren’t so judgmental, they were kind and caring and were willing to look at things that they had never been willing to look at or change before.

I could see this go on in somebody else’s world and in their body and the magical thing was that as I noticed them go through it, I noticed that I myself was having the same thing go on for me.

I lay down on the table to get my Bars run for the first time. This sweet, soft, kind older lady looked at me and asked, “So if you could have anything out of this session what would that be?” I then told her about this auto-immune disease. She said to me, “Okay, well will you acknowledge that you created it?”

At first I was like, “WTFFFF????,” But simultaneously as that was going on, my world as I knew it shattered, I saw in an instant how everything in my life was something I had created in some way or another. It wasn’t wrong or bad.  I said to myself, “if you have created this, what is stopping you from uncreating it or creating something totally different altogether? WOW!”

On Day 2 of this class, this young, sweet and beautiful little girl approached me and asked if I would like a healing. I lay on the table and my world just crumbled; all the barriers and walls I had put up my whole life seemed to vanish. Lying there with so much going on in my head and listening to Dain facilitate class, it felt as if he is was speaking directly to me.

After a while I stopped the chatter in my head and said to myself, “f%&ck this, I am changing this all”. A couple moments later I hear Dain say, “my brother with the dreadlocks would you like to come up?”

I can remember being up on that stage and looking at everyone in front of me, wondering if they would ever see the beauty that I see in them, so I let them know how courageous they all were.

Dain asked, “if you could have anything out of this what would it be?”

I responded, “It would be to break every limitation that I have set on myself, knowingly or unknowingly, to be able to defy the judgment on myself that I don’t deserve to actually belong in this world, belong in my body and belong and actually be myself.”

(Thank you Dr. Dain for the person you be and the inspiration you are to me and this world, so grateful for you!)

To me, this is magic. I asked the Gods or anyone or anything listening to change what was going on for me, to show me a sign that night I broke down. When I saw the Being You class listing, I just knew I had to go. You know what is true for you, my friends, more than anyone else does or ever will. Follow what it is that you know will create a life worth living for you and all of us.

This class allowed me to see that I along with everyone else in this world have something to contribute to creating a greater place to live for all of us. That being ME is what changes the world, not being what I was yesterday or the day before that, not being what society says I must be, not what my parents want me to be, but being me and creating me in each moment is a miracle that brings more magic than I can verbalize.

So two and a half or so years later, what has changed for me?

You know that autoimmune disease that doctors said I couldn’t change? Yeah, well its gone and I’m pain free. A week after class, I was moving my body in ways that were never available to me before. I am free from everything that I once thought had to define me. The past no longer owns me and I am grateful for it because in all honesty I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for every choice I have ever made.

I have no desire to escape me or my life. I enjoy my life. I have more fun since before I can remember. I enjoy waking up in the morning. Yes, everyday may not be perfect, but perfect is not what I am after. I judge myself less and less each day. I laugh more than ever. I have my childlike curiosity back.

I have a massive toolbox that allows me to change things that are not working. I have people in my life who have my back and don’t judge me. I’ve travelled to places all around the world, I’ve met some pretty phenomenal people who are such a contribution to my life.

I am a father of twins, Ayla Marie and Preston Lee. They show me how its truly possible to be YOU in every moment. I have a beautiful wife. I am an Access Consciousness Certified facilitator.

But one of the greatest gifts this class gave me was the possibility to have more of me than I ever could have imagined to be possible. It doesn’t stop here. I am not done. There will always be more, (and, my friends, finding more and more of you is one of the most phenomenal things), then using that to create you more and more puts the cherry on the top, which for me is only the tip of the iceberg.

Each and every one is different and unique, that’s what makes this class so special.

You may not get what I got out of this class, but you may just find you get more than what you could have ever hoped for.


For more information on the Being You, Changing the World Classes with Dr. Dain Heer, click HERE. Dr. Dain’s next Being You class will be live-streamed online around the world live from Noosa, Australia November 18-21 – click HERE to sign up.


  

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