Author Dr. Dain Heer   Category Benevolent Leadership

Have you ever had a co-worker who was really hard to work with? Maybe they didn’t communicate well. Maybe they didn’t do their part and expected you to pick up the slack. Maybe you don’t know exactly what it is, but everything they do annoys you!

What would it be like to have total ease in all of your relationships – even with challenging co-workers? What if all of your relationships were a contribution to your life and living? And what if, every single day, you could have the joy and adventure of being alive, no matter what was going on at work and whom you had to deal with?

Ease and joy in relationships is possible! If you would like to have that as your reality in the office, or anywhere else, here are 3 tools to start making it YOUR reality… today!

You are the most important ingredient in all of your relationships. Creating the change you would like to have begins with you. A great place to start in creating dynamic change is to let go of any conclusions that you have – about you, about the other person, about your employer, about everything!

When we come to conclusion, only that which matches our conclusion can show up. When we decide something is so, it is so!

If you’ve decided that someone is mean, lazy, dominant… they will keep showing up as mean, lazy, dominate…

To change all of this, to let go of your conclusions, there’s a really cool tool you can use. The tool is: interesting point of view. Here’s how it works, every time you notice a conclusion, you say, interesting point of view, I have that point of view. Keep saying it until things lighten up.

What happens is that everything you’ve decided is absolutely so, is no longer more than an interesting point of view and you have more space for you.

Not looking for answers is the opposite of what we have been taught all of our lives. We’ve been told that if we find the right answer, if we have the right point of view, everything will be fine.

Have you ever noticed that this never works? No matter how many answers we find, things stay the same, because answers never change anything. Answers close the door to new possibilities and stop the creative process.

Rather than looking for an answer, ask a question. Questions take you beyond what you currently know. Questions take you beyond all of your conclusions. Questions are the door to something new and something greater.

One question you can ask is, “What else is possible?” Ask this about everything all through your day. When you get to work and your co-worker snarls at you as you walk through the door, ask, “What else is possible?” When you asked for a project to be completed at a certain time and it’s not, ask, “What else is possible?”

Whatever shows up, ask this question. And, you can ask, “How does it get any better than this?” Ask this about everything too! When you ask this question, everything, the good, the bad and the ugly, keep getting better.

These two questions, if you will continue to ask, can change relationships dynamically!