If you are currently in a relationship, is it fun and exciting? Is it playful? Does it bring more ease and joy into your life? Does it make your life greater? Or perhaps there was a time, maybe in the beginning, when your relationship was all of these things, but not so much now.
Often, when relationships begin, it’s like an adventure. You adore everything about your partner. You have a sense of being alive, of loving life. It’s light. It’s easy. It’s fun. Then, for so many couples, that all starts to change. That cute thing your partner does now annoys the heck out of you. You notice all of their inconsistencies and idiosyncrasies and UGH!! Good feelings gone!
What would it take for your relationship to remain an adventure – no matter how long you’ve been in it? All of this and more IS possible!
No matter where your relationship is at today, you can begin using these 3 tips to create something greater right away!
1. Let Go of Conclusions
You are the most important ingredient in all of your relationships. Creating the relationship, you would like to have begins with you.
A great place to start in creating a dynamic relationship is to let go of any conclusions that you have – about you, about the other person, about everything! When we come to a conclusion, only that which matches our conclusion can show up. When we decide something is so, it is so! If you’ve decided that someone is mean, lazy, dominant… they will keep showing up as mean, lazy, dominate…
To change all of this, there’s a really cool tool you can use called interesting point of view. Here’s how it works, every time you notice a conclusion, you say, interesting point of view, I have that point of view. Keep saying it until things lighten up. What happens is that everything you’ve decided is absolutely so, is no longer more than an interesting point of view and you have more space for you.
2. Daily Choose to be in the Relationship
After being in a relationship for a while, we often stop actively choosing to be there. We chose it when it started, and we don’t go any further than that. If you would instead, daily choose to be in your relationship, you would go from existing in the relationship into the creativity, fun, and excitement that was there in the beginning.
3. Don’t Look for Answers. Ask Questions.
Not looking for answers is the opposite of what we have been taught all of our lives. We’ve been told that if we find the right answer, if we have the right point of view, everything will be fine.
One question you can ask is, “What else is possible?” Ask this about everything all through your day. When you get to work, and your co-worker snarls at you as you walk through the door, ask, “What else is possible?” When you asked for a project to be completed at a certain time, and it’s not, ask, “What else is possible?” Whatever shows up, ask this question. And, you can ask, “How does it get any better than this?”
However long you’ve been in your relationship, and whatever state it is in, you can create something greater! You can have the joy, the excitement and the adventure of a relationship that contributes to you, to your partner and to the world! BE the invitation to more ease and joy in relationships. BE the invitation to a different possibility. BE the change you wish to see!
Dain
P.S. To read the full article in Finer Minds, go here.
