How do you ask your child if they are ok?
It is one of the most important questions to ask your kids, and it is also one of the hardest.
Be grateful for however they respond. That answer is your invitation to contribute to your child during one of the most confusing times of their life.
Up until the global pandemic began, the world made some kind of sense to most kids. But as the pandemic progressed, it is challenging the things that most of them have taken for granted up to this point: e.g. going to school, hanging out with friends, seeing their grandparents, and planning for the future.
Even worse, no one can tell them when this will be over. Not even their go-to-oracles: their parents. They are left with an eerie sense of insecurity. That is hard enough for us adults to handle. Just imagine if you had to deal with that as a child or teenager!
Having personally suffered from depression to the point where 20 years ago I set a date to end my life, I know how important it is to have someone in your life that cares for you.
Someone from whom you can ask for help.
Someone that you can trust.
As a parent, you can be that for your kids. You can help them navigate this new unpredictable world in which we now live.
HOW DO YOU ASK YOUR CHILD IF THEY ARE OK? TOP 3 TIPS ON HOW TO CHECK IN WITH YOUR CHILD
1. TALK WITH YOUR KIDS
Start talking with your kids about real things when they are very young. Make sure they know you are willing to hear anything: the good, the bad, and the ugly. If your kids are older and you do not have great communication, don’t judge yourself for that.
Just START NOW! It is never too late.
2. NEVER JUDGE YOUR CHILD OR THEIR CHOICES
If you judge your kids for the choices they make, they will stop coming to you when there are things they are struggling with. Actually, they will stop coming to you, period. They need to know that no matter what they tell you, they will not be judged.
If your teenager tells you they were drinking, ask them questions like… “Did you have fun? Tell me about it?”
Being interested in your child’s life, without continuously grading their experiences as right or wrong or good and bad, creates the space for them to come to you with the big things.
3. TELL YOUR KIDS THAT THEY ARE A GIFT AND THAT THEIR VOICE MATTERS
Feelings of not fitting in, of being unworthy and different are not uncommon as kids grow up.
As a parent to teenagers, it sometimes seems like everyone else’s point of view matters more than yours. Don’t give up. What you say does matter – even if your teenager pretends it doesn’t.
So, how do you ask your child if they are ok? First, be willing to hear that they are not. Then be the voice and the ear that lets them know that no matter what they face, they’ve got this.
And you’ve got this.
Grateful for you, Dain
P.S. For more about me and the Access Consciousness tools, please visit: http://www.drdainheer.com
P.S.S. And for even further exploring, here are six videos about the tools I use every single day: https://drdainheer.com/whatnow/.
P.S.S.S. And for the full article in Mama Disrupt, please visit here. 🙂