Hi friend! I’d like to offer you a different possibility today with judgment.

Ready? It’s this: it’s okay if you need to judge me.

Truly. If judging me is what you’ve got to do today… To hold something in place, to resist something, to feel a bit safer in your world – then that’s okay. You’re not wrong for it. I don’t have a judgment of your judgment.

But here’s the part that may change the whole thing: I will never buy your point of view as real. I’ll acknowledge how limiting it is, and I’ll always know you have another choice available. And I will never judge you for judging me.

Can you tell how different that is from the usual advice? Most of what we’re taught about handling criticism is really just resistance: “I don’t care what you think! You’re wrong – but I don’t care!” That’s not freedom, it’s more like defence. You’re still completely entangled with the judgment; you just have a slightly different posture towards it.

Now, I would love to tell you I’ve been this way my whole life. Ha! No. I used to have such a problem with being judged, because I wanted us all to get along and love each other etc etc. My logic at the time went: if someone is judging me, then they didn’t receive that I was loving them, and then they wouldn’t love me back, and then… blah, blah, blah. I’m sure you know that spiral: and may even have your own version of it.

What finally set me free was realising that judgment is not as relevant we’ve made it. Somebody’s judgment of you is actually information about where they are, what they need to hold in place and what they’re resisting and it was never actually about you. You don’t have to fight it, fix it, or win them over and you also don’t have to swallow it. You can simply… not buy it.

Here’s a question for you for the week ahead: how many other people’s judgments have you bought as real and true and valuable? Your teacher’s, parent’s, ex’s, the stranger’s in the comments section? And what if none of them were ever the measure of you?

Try this point of view on, just for a few days: You’re free to judge me. I’m free not to buy it. Neither of us is wrong. Notice how much lighter your shoulders get. Notice how much energy comes back to you. Energy you can finally spend on creating your life instead of defending it.

What would you choose if nobody’s judgment (including your own) was relevant anymore?

Thank you for being here!
Dain

PS: If you haven’t explored it yet, the Access Me app has my entire back catalog of classes (including the Being You classes) with a 72-hour trial to dive in and play.

And for more information, tools, and resources, you can visit my website: www.drdainheer.com