What does saying, “I love you” mean for the relationship? When’s the right time to say it? When’s too soon? Waiting for how long is too long?
Ugh.
There is a lot of significance around relationships and romance. And even more significance, and pressure, around the phrase, “I love you.” The expectations and judgments around those three little words can be endless.
There are phrases and questions that you can use in a relationship that are far greater than saying the words, “I love you.”
First of all, there are so many definitions of love and what it means and your definition may not be the same as your partners.
Secondly, love is a conclusion. When you say, “I love you” you are operating on the notion that you have completed everything. You think, “That’s enough. That’s all I have to do.” I see people do this a lot. They say, “I love this person,” and then they stop developing the relationship any further than that. They stop being in the action of loving. They have loved; therefore, it’s complete and they don’t have to do anything else. When it’s complete, it’s a done deal, and no creation happens from that point forward. With this mindset, you can’t have total joy and possibility.
If you would like a relationship that’s exciting, fun, playful and always getting better, here are 3 phrases that are more important than I love you that will produce greater results.
1. I am grateful for you.
When’s the last time you truly expressed gratitude to your partner? Do you take the time daily to say thank you for the gift they are to you? For the joy they bring to your world? It’s easy to start taking one another for granted, and it’s important to remember that a simple thank you spoken from true gratitude goes a long way.
To rekindle a sense of gratitude, start a gratitude journal and every day write down at least one thing that you are grateful for about you, and one thing you’re grateful for about your partner. As you build gratitude, gratitude will become one of the primary elements of your relationship.
2. I choose you.
A relationship begins because we choose it. We choose a particular person as our partner. We choose what we would like our relationship to be. But often, that active choosing goes away and we start to exist in the relationship. And, if we are not actively choosing our relationship, we are not creating it.
Want to change it? Choose your partner daily and let them know. Tell them, “I choose you. How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
Choosing to be in your relationship daily stops you from putting your relationship on auto pilot and brings you back to the creativity, fun and excitement that was there in the beginning.
For the last phrase and full article, click HERE to go to Body + Soul Online magazine for the original publication.
Dain
P.S. For further exploring…
– What now? Six videos about the tools I use every single day: https://drdainheer.com/whatnow/.
– Who Does This Belong To? A whole playlist about the first tool I would give an alien can be found here.
