How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being the best ever)?
If you are like most people, you would probably rate it around 5 or less…either because you’re single, or because you’re in a relationship where deep down you have this nagging feeling that neither of you are truly happy. Whichever way you look at it, changing stagnant relationships feels like hard work, right? What if it doesn’t have to be this way? What if it’s actually pretty easy to create a great relationship, and to breathe life into the one you’re in now?
4 THINGS YOU CAN DO TODAY TO ENHANCE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
1. REPLACE JUDGMENT WITH ALLOWANCE
As well as making a commitment to stop judging you, extend that to include judgments you have about your partner and about your relationship together. Judgments only keep us stuck in old cycles of thinking and behavior. If you label your girlfriend as possessive, this isn’t going to make her relax. If you believe you always argue about money, you’re always going to argue about money.
Letting go of conclusive beliefs gives you the chance to create so much more. Allowance is the key to this: the place where everything is just an interesting point of view. When you stop needing to be right, arguments are defused in an instant. It’s quite amazing.
If you find this hard to believe, next time you’re butting heads with your partner, say or think these words: “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.” The tension in the room and your world just… disappears.
2. START EACH DAY ANEW
Even if you follow the suggestions in this article, you’ll still clash and occasionally lock horns. It just might happen less, or it will dissipate sooner, or you’ll see why it’s happening and learn from it more quickly.
A great way to develop this is to see each day as a new start by consciously destroying and uncreating any walls of separation you might have put up the day before — knowingly or otherwise. Whatever the relationship was yesterday, it can be something else today.
3. BE GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PARTNER — AND TELL HER!
There’s a lot of pressure to tell your other half that you love them, but, from my point of view, telling your partner you’re grateful for them allows for so much more.
There’s something conditional about love which gratitude far surpasses. When we say I love you, I believe we’re also saying, “I love you because you’re meeting my current standards, ideals, and criteria.”
Whereas I’m grateful for you also says, “I accept and appreciate all of you and I am so glad you’re in my life exactly as you are.” This is the best cure for constant arguing in a relationship.
4. MOST OF ALL: HAVE FUN TOGETHER — AND DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION
They key to all of this is to never expect perfection from you, from your partner, or from the relationship. Accept that you’re learning and growing — and have fun with that. The fun part is kind of crucial. Take time to be together and enjoy each other.
In essence, your relationship should enhance your life, not limit it. Let it be fun, light, and contributive. Enjoy that you’ve chosen each other and look at what you can create together for an awesome and fulfilling life.
How does it get any better than that?
P.S. For more relationship tips, techniques and tools, please feel free to check out my Kajabi Class “Getting Out of Need & Into Intimacy” here.